Prayer + Preparing for Marriage

We are 55 days away from the big day! It seems as if E and I have been counting since forever, but I've chosen to take these extra days with a grateful heart. It's been the strangest season - and I'm sure many people can attest to feeling the same way. By no means am I complaining! I just mean "strange" in the fact that this season is a season of mourning and celebrating, sadness and joy, grieving and thankfulness. It's a mixture of everything! As my wedding draws nearer and the gift of marriage comes closer, God has truly been bringing certain things to light in my life. Some of these are easy to remedy and acknowledge while most of these things are difficult to swallow and bring much needed humility into my life. One of my most prayed prayers is that God would prepare me for marriage accordingly to His will. I've seen the extent of my imperfections and I fully know how capable I am of hurting others. I am often impatient instead of patient and am quick to anger instead of seeking to understand. Because I know this, I ask God every day to prepare me for the following:

I pray that God would grant me a tender and gentle heart. I truly desire to be a source of comfort to my husband. I ask that He would give me the wisdom to know when to be silent and listen and when to speak words of truth and accountability with love. I want to show compassion for my husband and let him see that I care. 

Another prayer of mine is that I will continue to respect my future husband privately and publicly. Whether it's in the confines of our room or at church with our friends and family, I want him to feel honored by what I say and do. Small jokes can easily become salt on wounds and while I know I will fail many times at this, I ask that the Lord would continue to make this an ever growing task for me as a wife.

I ask that God would provide me the humility and love to realize that it's not always about being right. Rather than fighting to get him to realize how right I am, I want to choose love over pride and show him that I love him more than I care about my injured ego. If I insist on being right all the time, I can't imagine what kind of message I'll be sending to my husband. Instead, I want him to see and hear, "I love you", "You are more important than my pride", "I hear you", and "I respect you." 

I pray for my fiance. Through my time spent in Scripture, prayer, and pre-marital counseling, the role of a husband is by no means an easy feat. The command to be like Christ to your family is immense. This is such a crucial and important calling to the husband. I ask that God would provide wisdom and discernment when it comes to every decision made about our family.

I know that I will fail in every single one of these aspects because of the nature of my flesh, but I look forward to becoming more like Christ with each step. At the end of each day, I hope I can ask and reflect, "Does my husband see Christ in me? Does he experience grace and kindness from me? Does he see a tender and compassionate heart?" So, friends, if you've come across this post, I ask that you would pray for me. My married friends, especially, I ask that you would pray for me in the areas I probably overlooked and am unaware of. Thank God for the hope we have in Him! Through His strength and His alone can I become the wife He desires me to be.