June 6th - What Could've Been

I woke up this morning feeling pretty normal. I spent a few more minutes laying in bed, scrolling through social media, and diffusing some of my favorite morning oils (yay)! It took me awhile to realize that today was supposed to be my wedding day. I tried to imagine how different my morning would've been. Instead of laying in bed and casually getting ready, I would've been up early and getting ready with my bridesmaids. There would've been a ton of laughter, lots of tears, and for sure many "oohs" and "aahs" over how lovely everyone looked. I tried to imagine the feelings I would perhaps be feeling that morning - a mixture of nerves and an overwhelming amount of excitement! As I mulled over these things that could've happened today, I wasn't as sad as I thought I would be. As the season of change and a flexibility continues, I've learned one thing: It's a very, very bitter feeling to think about what could've been....the would'ves and should'ves. 

Truth be told, God really blessed and covered me with His peace today. Sure, I'm sad and naturally disappointed, but it didn't consume me today at all. Instead, E and I chose to celebrate today by doing small things that would bring us joy. I can't say it enough, but I'm so thankful to have a fiance who encourages me endlessly and pushes me to move forward instead of lingering in the what could've beens.

We toured our first apartment today! It was all so exciting and something I wanted to document! The leasing manager was super kind and showed us around the model home. We loved it and although we didn't apply for it yet, we both shared later on that the moment we stepped into the apartment we could immediately imagine our life together. I can't wait to make memories together, no matter where we are. I look forward to waking up together, going to bed together, making meals together, enjoying our favorite shows together, and so much more. 

 

E is the sweetest, I tell ya! He wanted to celebrate the end of the school year for me so he told me to choose any restaurant to eat at - I was torn between Tofu House or Bonchon, but because I was craving Korean fried chicken, Bonchon it was! We definitely go there too often, but every mile driven there and calorie eaten is absolutely worth it. We sat outside in the warm weather and ate our meal: spicy and soy garlic chicken, kimchi and bacon fried rice, udon soup, a side of kimchi, and a side of pickled radish. I wish I could eat it all over again, haha. 

We also stopped to grab some Starbucks! Vanilla Bean Frappe for him and a Pink Drink for me!

We then drove to Mango Mango Cafe - a new dessert in Denver that's all about....mango! If y'all know me, ya know that mango is my favorite fruit. I love mango anything! I love that Mango Mango Cafe is a true Taiwanese dessert cafe. They offer drinks, shaved ice, mochi, pancake desserts, crepe cakes, and hot desserts. We ended up getting two mango shaved ice with tapioca, rice balls, mango, grapefruit, and a set of mango mochi and mango pancakes. There's no such thing as too much mango! We brought it to my house for the entire family to enjoy!

We ended the rest of the day by watching Avatar: The Last Airbender with the fam and then playing the Nintendo Switch with Nathan and Jasmine. I love spending time with them!

What could've been a day filled with sadness and misery was instead a day graced with laughter and lightheartedness. E and I said bye to each other tonight when we should've been enjoying our first night as a newlywed, but the hope I have outweighs the disappointment because I know that I will eventually get married. Yes, it's a month and a half later than we expected, but for whatever reasons God may have for postponing our wedding, I am truly, genuinely okay. I wait in great anticipation for the day that God brings E and I together as one, but until then, I will continue to wait upon Him.